A Gonzo moment on Sixth Avenue

While walking up Sixth Avenue the other day I was approached by a member of Greenpeace. Clipboard in hand, he asked, "Do you care about the enviornment?" My reply, "Nope, I hunt and hate recycling." Sure, only one of those is true but the look of shock on his face was Sherbtastic!

Why I hate Liono

For the longest time I’ve been annoyed at the very site of the redhead wonder dope in my office. In fact, I don’t even have to see her, just passing her oversized vehicle in the parking lot is enough to make me want to beat her with a sock full of nickels. For the life of me, I haven’t been able to figure out what made me want to drive 16 penny nails into her skull, until now. Sure, everyone has these sorts of people in their office but the odd thing is, she works part time and has little to no interaction with me when she is around. Did I mention she also has the intelligence of an mollusk? She tries to be social albeit her jovial hellos would give the Wilhelm scream a run for its money. I’m not alone in my feelings, I Arlo agrees as does my rotund impregnated boss. Another employee just out of school threatened to quit the job after seeing Big Red's work product.

As Ronald McDonald head passed my office door yesterday afternoon, on what I thought was one of her half days, I wanted to moan out, "Ugghh, what are you still doing here?" Which got me thinking, what does she ever do here? Perhaps it’s that lack of any redeeming value that gets to me. I wanted make her to account for her time, a list of her daily contributions. I'm not even talking about work related contributions. Hell, I wouldn’t care if she wrote down she watched online movies (which assumes she knows how to use the computer, she doesn’t) or made crashing sounds as she played with toy trucks under her desk. Do something, anything, but please try not to fuck it up when you do.

Perhaps in life these dullards are necessary so that the shiny happy Sherbtastics can really standout.