"I felt like a monster reincarnation of Horatio Alger: A man on the move, and just sick enough to be totally confident." -HST

The best part of last night’s Halloween adventure with Arlo and the Asset? Aside from their wigs? Probably the offer that was made to me, “I’ll screw you.” While most would think this offer is rather inviting, let me tell you a couple things. First, the proposition was made by a man. Second, the screwing he was referring to would be the result of the yellow handled screwdriver in his waistband being plunged into my abdomen . . . repeatedly. Obviously, this handyman did not have the Halloween spirit. My only hope was that it be a philips and not a flat head screwdriver. I’d like to think the philips would make a cleaner entry, cause less damage to my internal organs.

Street punk, he wouldn’t have done shit, all bark. Woof, woof, woof. His two friends didn’t worry me either. Certainly the peacenik hippies with me would have been prepared to wield their peace medallions like ninja stars. Ummm. Maybe not? Regardless, a quick geographical survey and some basic logic told me that real screwdriver wielding thugs don’t hang out outside of egg-cream stands. Unphased, we continued up the street never turning around. That’s what I get for dressing up and acting like a real life Jackass. Come to think of it, I’ve gone out dressed like that on countless occasions and last night’s behavior was far from novel. Well, the whipping from the leather clad dominatrix was kinda new but that's for another entry.

Hugs and Kisses,
-Sherb